8 Things Blamed on Michael Jackson’s Death
On June 28, an Ohio woman set fire to a bar’s bathroom and blamed it on stress relating to the death of Michael Jackson. Two months after the Gloved One’s premature demise (now ruled a homicide!),...
View ArticleThe 2009 Fall TV Preview Starring Jonathan Coulton
There is no higher authority on the art of devising great titles than the man behind the zombie-themed song “Re: Your Brains” and the album Our Bodies, Ourselves, Our Cybernetic Arms. That man, of...
View ArticleWow: The godfathers of Gospel mime
If you’ve ever had a hard time sitting through a normal sermon, imagine if that sermon was instead interpreted by mimes. I can’t figure out if this is a better or worse concept than The Cross and the...
View ArticleYet Another Reason Never to Set Foot in a Microsoft Store
The now-viral video (embedded at the bottom of this post) in which employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California, do the Electric Slide to a Black Eyed Peas song has reminded me for the...
View ArticleName Fail — STD Liquors [PIC]
Unbelievably, this is the name of my local spirits store here in Kensington, Brooklyn. It’s not a bad little place, really. Apparently the owner’s initials are STD, and I applaud his decision to put...
View ArticleOne Man’s Quest to Find Someone Named McTavish in Glasgow
Five years ago, I flew to Glasgow with a single purpose: to find someone named McTavish. It’s a name that first came to my attention in the summer of 1992, when I tended bar at a remote hotel 15 miles...
View ArticleOne Man’s Quest to Find Someone Named McTavish in Glasgow
[Part 1: The quest begins.] On day two — a rainy, foul Saturday — I attended a Masters Football tournament, an indoor soccer event featuring retired players from various Scottish teams. One of the...
View ArticleOne Man’s Quest to Find Someone Named McTavish in Glasgow
[Part 1: The quest begins.] [Part 2: Ever closer to McTavish.] A commendable thing about Glaswegians is that they love a good mystery. At a pub later that night, the three bartenders got very involved...
View ArticleHow to Shoot Heroin, and Other Fun New York City Pamphlets
By now, you’ve probably heard the crazy news that the New York City health department has published an official guide to shooting heroin. The 70,000 flyers cost taxpayers $32,000. As you might expect,...
View ArticleCold as Hoth
I knew I should have stayed indoors today, and this just confirms it. Sadly, there are no tauntauns in Kensington. Get your own Star Wars weather report here.
View ArticlePrince Pens Horrible Fight Song for the Minnesota Vikings
It is undeniable that Prince, aka the Artist Formerly Known as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, earned his induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame for the countless amazing songs that he...
View ArticleWayne Coyne Confirms Google Street View Sighting
I’m not saying that it’s surprising that Google Street View captured Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne sitting on his front lawn in a bathtub. But I am saying that it’s amazing. The affable, outspoken...
View ArticleThis Stick-Meat Chicken Looks Unbelievably Tasty
I’ll admit it — I’ve never eaten at Juan Pollo. Clearly, this is my loss. I mean, just look at that delicious chicken! But the restaurant chain, which operates dozens of locations around California,...
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